Was I a healthy, fit kid?
Actually, no. I had an undiagnosed autoimmune gut issue. It always made me exhausted, inflamed, and overweight. My brain always felt foggy, and I was easily injured and didn’t heal very fast. Sports were really hard for me, and I was usually one of the last kids chosen for sports. I was so ashamed of my body as a teenager, I wore baggy clothes 3x my size to hide myself away. I was always trying the newest diet, or not eating enough, which led to binging.
What was my first turning point?
When I moved away from home and started learning to cook, I began to learn more about nutrition. Then I discovered working out for myself, opposed to a team sport. Since I didn’t have to be competitive about winning a game, then I fell in love with exercise! I learned that biking, hiking, and lifting weights was fun and made me feel great. I loved the lack of pressure of a team of people watching me. It was so liberating! I started losing weight and felt so much better about myself.
Eating disorders and over-exercising…
I wish I could say that it was a “happily-ever-after” for my health…but unfortunately it was not. I got so much positive feedback whenever I lost weight, so I just kept taking it further and further. I started eating only 800 calories a day. I exercised even when I wasn’t feeling well. I had a taste of what it was like to have society accept you for how you looked, and so every time someone criticized my body, I would cut something out. I stopped eating meat, fat, dairy, I stopped eating at night, I lived off salads…I was constantly dizzy, sometimes I fell asleep sitting up. But if I slipped up and gained weight, people made comments. So I just kept going.
Big Injury
When I was only 20 years old, I suffered a debilitating back injury. I was working 12 hour days, lifting too many heavy boxes, working out too much and undereating. This all culminated in a spinal injury, which was so painful I couldn’t sit up or even hold a purse in my hand. This is when I discovered massage and physical therapy! I hadn’t ever learned to use exercise as a therapeutic tool, I had only used it to burn calories. Using movement and massage in this way was a turning point for me. I was so excited, that I wanted to share this with the world!
Massage school and Yoga training
I went and got certified in massage, and did my 200 hour yoga teacher training. I loved having a job I was so passionate about! At 21 years old, this was just the beginning.
Finally diagnosed!
I finally had a health-care practitioner listen to my concerns, and I was able to get my auto-immune condition diagnosed. Finally able to get my gut issues under control, I was able to feel better than I ever had. But I still had issues with disordered eating…and no one ever pointed it out. With my hormone issues I was never underweight, so no one ever thought I wasn’t eating enough, or was doing too much.
Accepting myself, and learning what actual health meant!
One day I realized I only worked on my physical health, and not the health of my mind, and my relationship to my body. Doing that work was life-chaning. I became aware of all the messages around me, telling me I wasn’t good enough. That it didn’t matter that I had a degree from a great school, a career I loved, traveled, or could hike 140 miles. The message I kept getting, is none of that mattered if I wasn’t attractive and thin.
Once I was aware of the way this permeated our media, our world, the culture of the gym…I decided I no longer wanted to participate in that. And I didn’t want anyone to have to, either. If eating enough and feeling good doesn’t leave me with a six-pack, it doesn’t mean I’m not healthy.
How I coach my clients:
Everyone has a different journey, a different story, and different challenges. And our size doesn’t determine that. I want all my clients, regardless of what they’re going through, to feel their best, in whatever form that takes. I have clients that are disabled, that are 90 years old, who are pregnant, or who have injuries. I help advocate for them to their health care professionals. I make sure that my coaching is formulated for their needs, their body, not some idea I have that doesn’t align with what they want. And I have compassion and understanding for wherever they are starting from.
What if I hate exercise and love chocolate?
I believe that all foods can be integrated into a healthy eating plan. If you hate your workouts, and hate the foods on your diet, you’re not going to stick with it. I create a health plan for YOU, that includes the foods you love. And we can discover movements that you enjoy! So that you’ll stick with it, and look forward to it.